The little blue house in the country was appraised on April 18, 2019, about a month after the kitchen table sit-down. I want to point out that I was given the option to buy the house before it went on the market, but I was still not in a position to do that, and, at this point, my heart felt differently about the place and the people who owned it. I am just being honest. Things had changed.
I beat myself up sometimes because I put all my eggs in one basket, which I would highly recommend never doing, and I was more depleted now than I was when I first arrived back in my hometown. I had to start over with nothing. I know I should have prepared better, but I found myself in survival mode financially more often than being in a place of overflow where I could save. It was truly nobody’s fault but my own. I take ownership of that.
No surprise, the house sold quickly. The first couple who viewed it, on April 25, 2019, bought it. The home inspector came on May 22, and the deal was sealed shortly thereafter. I had to be out by July 1, 2019, with 30 days to pack up all my belongings and vacate my home of 10 years. I had already started the process of selling and donating my furniture and household items. I was thinning down my possessions as much as I could so the move would not be as daunting.
The packing alone was going to be a chore for me because I am a very melancholy, thinky-feely kind of person. I have to touch everything, deal with memories attached to things, and process it. I did not want anybody to help me because it was going to be an emotional ride. So, I did not ask for help. I did not want to be a stumbling block to anybody from the church, and my family was not in the best position to help with such a physical task. Denyse was the only one I had in my life at the time who I felt I could allow in at this moment. Besides her integrity and beauty as a person, she is also a beast. She committed to helping me pack up and move. It was just the two of us.
The little blue house in the country had a bedroom and office upstairs with a killer narrow, straight up and down staircase. I am a book collector, and that was one of the greatest challenges. But we got to work, and I think we were actually whistling. We had just started the process when I received a call that the new owners of the house needed to take possession within 21 days instead of 30, so we had to pick up the pace. We had no time to spare!
We packed that U-Haul to the brim. Thank the Lord I had already sold most of my household items! We cleaned the house until it was immaculate and pulled out at 4:33 pm on June 22, 2019, the day of the deadline. We made it, and we were in church the next morning bright-eyed and bushy-tailed – well, maybe not that. My back was barking, and we were both dog-tired.
After church, we took everything I had left to a storage unit. It became a reality in that moment. I was so thankful to have a friend like Denyse walking beside me at that time. I knew she was a gift from God, an incredible gift. She also helped me navigate the next challenge at hand, which was to protect the church from any fallout that could come from this change of events and how we handled it.
Even though we no longer had the bond that tied us together through the little blue house in the country, the owners and I were still an integral part of Christ Covenant. I was resolute in continuing to lead the flock on a positive path and to shield and protect them from potential harmful effects that could have materialized due to this sudden change in my living situation. I truly downplayed the impact it had on me. I attempted to spin it in a healthy, judicious manner because I did not want anybody else to be hurt by what had happened; it was a delicate dance for sure. Plus, I had to deal with the dynamic of my family being deeply affected by this experience as well.
My dad led praise and worship at church, which meant that the way I handled this would affect the heart of the ministry. He was struggling a bit with everything that had gone down, but we had to be about the Father’s business. What was this going to look like? It could have turned ugly, but I did not want that, and neither did the former owners of the house, as they are good, godly people.
The last thing I wanted to do was bring dissension into God’s house. I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me, but I was not about to express the depth of my sadness, hurt, and confusion to anybody outside those directly affected by this occurrence. I also knew that God would not want me to act in any way unbecoming as a woman of God, let alone a shepherd. So, I buckled up and went through the painstaking upheaval as righteously as I could, even though it was not easy. I can confidently say that the ministry did not miss a beat during this season; God was right there with us the whole time.
Denyse had recently bought a two-bedroom condominium, and the moment I told her what was happening, she said that I could live with her until I got on my feet and knew the direction the Lord wanted me to go. That was seven years ago! Did I overstay my welcome? One may think so, but it turns out I did not. God had other plans that neither of us saw coming.
I kept looking for a place – praying, looking, and believing – but nothing was coming up, and I mean nothing. And then, six months after we became roommates, the Covid pandemic hit. The world and our lives shut down. But ministry never shuts down, and we continued to do what we do. Our ministry is founded on two scriptures, Isaiah 61:1-3 and Matthew 25:34-45. These scriptures shed light on who we are and what we do.
“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’S favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor” (Isaiah 61:1-3).
“Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink, I was a stranger and you took Me in, I was naked and you clothed Me, I was sick and you looked after Me, I was in prison and you visited Me. Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? When did we see You sick or in prison and visit You?’ And the King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.’ Then He will say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave Me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave Me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, I was naked and you did not clothe Me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after Me.’ And they too will reply, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?’ Then the King will answer, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me’” (Matthew 25:34-45).
I have always been drawn to those who are broken and need help getting put back together. A case in point is Theo’s biological mom, which we will get to soon.
The backstory that I have shared with you, showing how we got to this point, is so incredible and such an important part of understanding the miracle of how Theo became ours that I felt it necessary to share. It sheds light on the supernatural aspect of this story and further demonstrates how only God could have orchestrated such an implausible, unlikely life plan for two women in their late 50s who had led very different lives up to this point and, by all accounts, seemed to be the unlikeliest of friends.